Mr. Tsunami

Mr. Tsunami
Originally uploaded by alifromca.

To many, December 31st is simply the day before the new year, the time to reflect on what you've done the over the last while, and the last chance to finalize resolutions for the 1st of January. As for me, I see Decemeber 31st for what it truly is; it's the last possible day for me to spend my annual $50 company team lunch budget or lose it.

This year, we went to the Keg. Since I had not used a penny of my budget all year, I sincerely doubted I could have spent the entirety at a decently-priced establishment. I browsed the menu and found that it had only one page to it. I was greatly disturbed by this lack of variety, but I looked over my limited options anyway.

The descriptions for the items did not include the quantity, and I think I ended up asking the waitress how large each steak was. I tried my best to do some quick price-performance calculations in my head. At this point, the waitress pointed out that we had the option to buy the large-sized version of each steak. I have to say, I really get annoyed by places that don't list everything they serve... especially when their menu is only 1 page long. Would it really kill them to tell us the following in each entry?
1) Name of item
2) Description of item
3) Portion size(s) of item
4) Price(s) of item

I get similarly annoyed with real estates advertisements that leave out key information as well, but that's another story. Finally, after the waitress had finished listing all the information I sought, she decided to let us know that the special of the day was an 8-ounce pepper steak with a side for $16. The sad part was that this may very well have been the best deal they were offering (though I can't guarantee that because I was not able to remember the price-performance values of each and every steak previously listed for each size).

I thought quickly and carefully about the situation and decided that an 8-ounce steak was not going to cut it, so I took the only sensible course of action: I ordered two.

If you look carefully at the photo that should accompany this article, you might be able to see that there are two small steaks on my plate rather than one moderately-sized steak.

At this point, all my dinner companions decided my order gave them the license to poke fun at me all lunch long. The most popular names and comments included (in no particular order):
1) The waitress asked if I would like two desserts.
2) A teammate suggested that maybe the waitress should give me two knives.
3) Someone called me Mr. Tsunami because it was theorized that I had jumped into the ocean and caused the tsunami.
4) You know how most restaurants give out candy with the bill? The Candy to Customer ratio was greater than 1:1. I doubt it was a coincedence.

The waitress came back and told us that she was just kidding about the two dessert joke, two 8-ounce steaks only added up to a mere 16 ounces, and customers frequently ordered steaks of that size or greater. When she left, one of my friends stated that the only reason she said that was for business reasons. If she really thought that it wasn't a big deal, she wouldn't have said anything.

Oh well, the good news is that the food was not bad and someone actually brought something to take pictures with. After seeing the pictures, I think we all agreed that the two orders on the same plate just didn't do the order justice. Next time, we'll try something else. Now as far as the tsunami jokes go, all I can say is "When you're this big, they call you Mister."